It seems that all I do is bitch

But seriously? I dont understand why some people do the things they do. I dont recall if I mentioned this or not, but my dads "friends" walked up into my house as if they owned the place while we were gone for a funeral. My dad was asleep.
Anyway, last night Jason and I kept hearing a knock on the door but when we checked outside there wasnt anyone there. The second time it happened, we jumped up and looked and noone was there again. I decided to call the cops. The police dpt asked ifI wanted an officer to come talk to us or just patrol the neighborhood. I said, patrolling the neighborhood would be fine. My dad woke up this morning and asked if the cops came by. He then said the knocks sounded like gunfire. Gunfire? In this little safe town? Highly unlikely! Not to mention, I live in a safe neighborhood as well. I honestly think the neighbor boy had some friends over and started to play jokes. No biggy. Anyway, I said "Gunfire in this town? Ya right" He said it's quite possible, so I popped off with "Well with your shady friends, probably". It was rude, I know it was. But i'm sorry. I'm just puttinga barrier up so that when he does kill himself (be it, depression, alcohol poisoning, or something else) it doesnt hurt so much. He has done this to himself. He has gone so down hill that I honestly dont want to have a close relationship with him anymore. I cant. I dont know how too. And the sad part is, my mom acts as if I dont exist.
This is why i'm so adamant about moving near Jasons family. B/c Drakes family isdown that way. As is Syd's and so will this baby's family. I didnt get to grow up in my later years, when it would have mattered more, with myfamily. It's lonely and made me feel so very isolated. My kids need to know their roots. Who their gparents are and were. And it's more important to be around the whole group than just one or two.

I struggle with trying to please everyone. I need to do what's best for me, my kids and my little family i've created. I need that. That's whatmakes me feel complete. Being around someone who brings me down, I just cant do it anymore. I cannot sit here and enable someone then let that person bring me to my lowest level again.

He is a grown man. If he cant act likeit and get his shit straight. Then I refuse to do it. I have my own life I need to take care of. And there are 3 little kids that depend on me.

I've always been fine not having my parents around. I can handle it again.